Transcript for Who gets the dog when you get divorced?
Oh, boy. While we’re on such positive topics of Christmas and — Every time you say divorce, I think, boy, that was a good time in my life. So the divorce isn’t my expertise. This is about dogs and divorce. It’s about pets. Okay. Who gets the animal when you divorce? The mother, thank you. Ladies everywhere — when in doubt go with the mom. It’s talking about how there was a time where dogs — animals — I’m a dog person. So I lean towards dogs. The animals were treated as property. Now in some states the judge is allowed to consider what’s in the best interest of the animal. I feel — What do you do, talk to the animal? You can assess people in the courtroom whether they’re the better parent. How do you do that with an animal? You don’t ask the dog who do you prefer or run one way or the others. Okay, run to whoever you want to be with and they’re both like come here. Come here. Come to daddy. Come. How do you do it? You meet the people, the parents, with the pet not in the courtroom and you decide by asking them certain questions who would be the best parent. I’ll say now, you could add me into any relationship and I will always win that. I’m like the most devoted pet parent that ever existed. The late night walks, who does — I do everything. I brushed my dog Peter’s teeth every night with a little mermaid automated tooth brush. I felt if it was good for the gums of a baby, it was good for the gums of a dog. I’ll be honest — I gotta say that’s dedication. I don’t know if that means good parenting or insanity. Every day you brushed the dog’s teeth? Every day. Dental health and their weight are big indicators of their longevity. If I could keep my chihuahuas alive forever, I would do it. No matter what condition I was in, no matter how late it was — that came out wrong. If I was tipsy and I had been out, no matter what, I brushed the teeth. You’ve got to be tipsy to brush your teeth every night on your dog. I never heard of such a thing. I brush my dog’s teeth when his breath stinks. Then they have the food that cleans the teeth. I’m like just eat that. That’s a marketing scam. Two, if their breath stinks, the damage has been done. You need to get in there. I suggest a rotating brush. It’s gentle on the gums and it works magic. Clearly I would get the baby between Michael and I. That’s all I’m saying. I’m looking at you now thinking you want to brush my teeth, don’t you? I just want to get in there, Michael. That’s hard when you have to
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